mood

I do nothing recently.

I’m still kinda depressed and have no energy. So I stay on a bed most of the time a day and watch Youtube, play a game, and sometimes doodle or something like that. Some of you guys may wonder why I suddenly write a diary in English, and it’s because I REALLY feel I’m losing English. I mean, people lose skills if they don’t use it. I remember my Chinese professor told me “language is like the thing use it or lose it.” I’d say she’s so true. So I use English to not forget. Well, this is very casual English like used in conversation, but it’s okay since it’s not an academic paper or serious article stuff. (I’m not sure this casual writing helps my purpose tho)

I got documents from my company today, also some books about keys for new recruits and knowledge of the industry were in. Luckily I don't have any pre-assignment stuff though I need to prepare and turn in some documents. Honestly, I’m not willing to work, but I understand I need to earn money and manage my life. I’m not so adopted at getting along in life and can’t handle things well. So I’m worried if I can survive. But I’ll try. It may be not so bad as I thought when it turns out. I’ll see it… But I simply feel kinda happy when I got those documents because I feel I’m a member of it. I applied for the company, and I was chosen. Maybe job hunting is nothing special, even everyone experiences. But I had a hard time and I hate someone just judges me with senseless words. Even though I got some help from others, I believe they chose me because they found something through a job interview.

What we believe is totally up to us, and no one can deny it. Also, no one has a right to impose their values on others. So, I live my life with confidence that came from my experiences.

 I’ll keep seeking the way I can stay easy and relax.